The Holy Church of Christ glorifies [today] …especially dear to Christians – the Myrrh-bearing Women—those blessed companions of Christ who served the Teacher not only with their possessions, but also with the labor of their hands. Devoted to Him with all their hearts, they suffered with the Lord, remaining near Him not only during His travels, but also along the path to the Cross—on Golgotha, at the very foot of the Cross. The remembrance of their self-sacrifice, their labors, and their incomparable and tender love for Christ fills the hearts of the faithful with that same love for the Lord and a fervent desire to serve Him unto death.

(Hieromartyr Metropolitan Seraphim (Chichagov))

Christ is risen!

Today is a feast of unconditional and sacrificial love for Christ.

We have heard in the Gospel that Joseph of Arimathea, a prominent council member (member of synedrion) who himself was awaiting the kingdom of God, dared to address Pilate and ask for the body of Jesus.

Joseph was a secret disciple of Christ, one of those Jewish leaders who believed in Him, but were afraid to confess their faith. And so, he managed to overcome fear for the love of Christ.

He dares to come to Pilate. And Pilate was surprised to hear that Christ had already died (one of the first glimpses of faith in pagans…), and he called the centurion (of whom we know, that he really had faith), asked him how soon He had died. And, having learned this from the centurion, he permitted Joseph to take His body.

Then Joseph bought the shroud and wrapped it around the body of Christ, and laid it in the tomb, which he had previously carved in the rock for himself. (isn’t it symbolic!)

While the righteous Joseph and Nicodemus were burying the body of the Savior, the holy myrrh-bearing women were also at the tomb. They understood well that the Pharisees and high priests, having killed Christ, would also persecute those who remained faithful to Him.

But the love is as strong as the death, as the Scripture says (Song of Solomon 8:6).

Love is not thinking of risks: they regretted that the burial was carried out in a hurry and not everything could be done properly. Did anyone rebuke them of this, except their love…?

It was a custom among the Jews to anoint the body of the deceased with an oil, special oil – which is called myrrh — and this was not done by the righteous Joseph and Nicodemus.

And the Gospel says that on the first day of the week after the Sabbath, Mary Magdalene and Maria of Jacob and Salomia bought those fragrant oils to anoint Him. And early in the morning, at sunrise, they were approaching the sepulcher saying among themselves: who will roll away a stone for us from the door of the sepulcher? They were so eager to do whatever they could for Christ, that they did not think at all about the difficulties and that they would not be able to go inside the tomb.

And so, having looked, they saw that the stone was rolled away, though it was very large. Then they went into the tomb and saw an angel as a young man dressed in white clothing. And he said to them: Do not be afraid. Jesus is risen, He is not here. This is the place where He was laid. But go, tell His disciples and Peter that He precedes you in Galilee; there you will see Him, as He had told you.

Knowledge makes arrogant, but love edifies, says the Scripture again (1 Cor. 8:1).

In these Easter days at the Divine Service, we hear the words every day: We have seen the resurrection of Christ, and let us worship the holy Lord Jesus. On behalf of the whole Church, they are sung, but they are fulfilled in the lives of those who love Christ. Like the Myrrh-Bearing women that were given blessings that no one else received, because love appeared to be stronger than death.

Not the Apostles, who knew and saw most of all, became the first witnesses of the Resurrection, but the first to know about him were those who showed more love and fidelity to Christ.

One who loves Christ, is the one who does not collapse if others do not approve of this. This is the one, who steps over his «I» (his self-esteem), over everything «I want» and «I do not want», for the sake of the will of God, not because it must always be pleasant to us, but because it is God’s good will.

May this bright day be our joyful feast. To make this happen, let us join the Myrrh-bearing women and bring to Christ all the love that we are capable of. Amen.

Christ is risen!

(after a homily by priest Mikhail Nemnonov)

Christ is risen!

Dear brothers and sisters, today we hear from the Gospel of John the theologian how Jesus appeared to his disciples after his resurrection.

And then we read:

But Thomas (who was called the Twin), one of the twelve, was not with them when Jesus came. So the other disciples told him, “We have seen the Lord.” But he said to them, “Unless I see the mark of the nails in his hands, and put my finger in the mark of the nails and my hand in his side, I will not believe.”

Thomas, whom people gave this second name Unbelieving… But what kind of unbelief it was, and what kind of person Thomas was?

Before the Passions when it was not a secret, that Jews decided to kill Christ, and because of His intention to go to Jerusalem, when the apostles came to realize what it meant for them, Thomas said: “Let us also go, so that we may die with him.” So, he was ready and even calling others to die with the Lord!

He was ready to give his life with the Lord, …and could Jesus conceive New Life from Thomas?

But we still call him Unbelieving, just traditionally, in some of our liturgical texts (just like we call the younger son of the father who repented – a prodigal son, though he is now a penitent son), and today we think about the faith… And how did the unbelieving becomes believing.

So, the question is: “What can bring us to faith?”

And, ultimately, there’s no answer to this question, as it is a mystery… and only God can bring us to faith in Him… Ultimately. In anyone’s own, unique way… and by his all-conquering mercy. But still… He invites everyone, He “wants all people to be saved and to come to a knowledge of the truth” (Tim. 2, 4).

What can bring us to faith?

Let us try to think over the familiar (in both senses of this word) things of this world, that we all might have gone through in one or the other way. (Or we have heard it from someone, or some talks or stories…)

This is about families, about children and parents… The children, that come from their parents and certainly do see them, or at least, know about their existence…

But do they always respect or love their parents. Yes, they see, and they touch, but do they always follow the advice of their parents, even if that advice is vital for them?

We look at the families where love and respect reign; it seems easy and natural, but when parents, driven by love, have to often make their children do many things, those children, not having enough life experience,  but they humble themselves, and, as they feel it, sacrifice somethings, and they ‘suffer it for now’, so that actually – to be helped by the parents.

There must be respect, there must be love and meekness for the parents to help them!

Thomas was ready to die with the Lord – The Lord brought him to faith in Him.

It could be different and unique but, it will always be some kind of sacrifice. Faith is always love! Love is always based on meekness.

And due to what happened to Thomas, we are reasoning about the holy faith, our faith in God, and see why it was revealed to Thomas.

Because we could remember another kind of people who both saw Christ and heard the Gospel proclamation (and remember also the elder son from the parable of the Prodigal Son…), yet remained unbelievers. The first among them were the Pharisees and Sadducees, who understood Who stood before them, Who had come into this world. These people of the Scriptures, who knew the prophecies well, did not accept Christ. Or did they not understand, did they just not want God Who is meek, Who is Love…

And we also today, due to the Thomas blessed disbelief, and for our paschal joy to be perfect, we hear a special blessing, one more beatitude, we could say (or, as some preachers say, making us even more blessed than the apostles):

Blessed are the poor in spirit, Blessed are those who mourn, Blessed are the meek, Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness…

And the “tenth beatitude” (our “hidden knowledge”), very much affordable for everyone – “Blessed are those who have not seen and yet have come to believe.”

Provided we have the love and meekness of Thomas, and the due respect as a good child, humbly presuming, that just for now we cannot see or understand some things. Amen!

Christ is risen!!!

Yesterday we celebrated Lasarus Saturday, the most incredible miracle, that had ever been performed in the whole history of humanity. Yesterday, Lasarus, Martha’s and Mary’s brother was raised from the dead after having been in the tomb for four days.

But, at the same time, sadly, it is not the greatest miracle, and this is for two reasons: the first and the obvious is that Lazarus still died, later, like any other; and the second reason is that besides physical death, there is spiritual death. Physical death is visible to everyone, and people fear it (and they were so glad to see the resurrection), but spiritual death is usually not noticeable to people at all…

So, Lasarus, a four-days passed away (who was starting to decay), was raised from the dead and the news of this was spreading like a wildfire. Many people thought that finally the Messiah was there! Because only the Messiah can raise man from the dead.

Now he is going to establish an earthly kingdom for people of Israel!

Moreover, they were aware of the prophecy of Zechariah, which says: “Behold, your King is coming to you; righteous and having salvation is he, humble and mounted on a donkey, on a colt, the foal of a donkey” (Zechariah 9:9).

According to the custom of that time, the Jews would enter the Holy City on foot during religious feasts. However, in the Old Testament, in the Books of the Kings, there are accounts of how, on certain occasions, it was specifically the kings of Israel who would ride into Jerusalem — and before them, the rejoicing people would spread their garments.

Why does Christ, at the end of His earthly ministry, choose to enter Jerusalem with a measure of glory, something He had consistently avoided before?

Through His triumphal entry into Jerusalem, Christ reveals that He is indeed the true King and Ruler of the world — the very Messiah awaited for millennia, the Savior of the world. Our Lord Jesus Christ manifested Himself in three primary sacred roles: as King, as Prophet, and as High Priest. And the Lord’s Entry into Jerusalem is a clear indication of His royal ministry!

And the people greeted Him with such a joy! they cut down palm branches, and laid down their clothes on the roads before Him…

But he wasn’t at all delighted by all of this, and entering Jerusalem he expressed lamentations on the city and its people that hardened their hearts so as not to see what is giving them true salvation… As God he saw the past, the present, and the future at the same time.

And, sadly, his main message was difficult for them to believe – to forgive enemies, to love God and the neighbour, to bless those who persecute, and not to put all hope in this world, to seek rather Heavenly Kingdom, to be trustworthy, not to envy, not to judge…

Christ enters Jerusalem six days before the Jewish Passover. According to the custom of that time, it was precisely during this period that the lamb to be sacrificed and eaten for the Feast was chosen. The holy fathers — for example, St. Ambrose of Milan — saw in the fact that Christ enters Jerusalem on the very day the sacrificial lamb is selected a symbolic indication of Christ’s forthcoming sacrifice. As Scripture says, He is the Lamb slain from the foundation of the world (Revelation 13:8).

Our Lord Jesus Christ is the God “of love and peace” (2 Corinthians 13:11), and thus, although His majestic royal ministry is revealed, He does not ride in on warhorses, but on a donkey — showing Himself to be a humble King.

In five days, the same people started to cry out “Crucify Him! He is not our king; Cesar is our king.” People had expectations of God, people had plans for God, and when God in flesh showed them something different, they rejected Him. This miracle did not happen! People have to labour for it to happen!

The people of Jerusalem did let their passion conquer and vanquish their only hope. They put vain hope in the Roman empire, and very soon they were eaten alive by the Roman empire, and the sad prophecy of Christ was fulfilled.

But we, brothers and sisters, looking to our King and God Jesus Christ, let us imitate and follow Him, understanding that the Kingdom of Heaven is not promised to the glorious and powerful. It is God’s will to make the heirs of the Kingdom of Heaven not those who are mighty and authoritative, but those who are kind and meek. “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth,” says Scripture (Matthew 5:5) — the earth renewed, the earth cleansed from sin and suffering, the earth which Scripture calls the new earth (Revelation 21:1).

Dear brothers and sisters, today’s feast is joyful and triumphant. But let us remember once again: the Lord’s Entry into Jerusalem is an entry into suffering! Let our hearts rejoice today, but let our minds remember Christ’s words: “Take up your cross and follow Me” (Matthew 16:24). To follow Christ not only with palm branches — but also with the cross! Because one can enter into the Paschal Joy of Christ only by going with Him through the Passion Week and Golgotha! Amen!

Today is the fountainhead of our salvation / and the manifestation of the mystery which was from eternity / The Son of God becometh the Virgin’s Son, / and Gabriel proclaims the good tidings of grace; / wherefore, we also cry to the Theotokos with him: / Rejoice, thou who art full of grace, // the Lord is with thee!

Today is the beginning. And the beginning of our salvation is in the word of the Mother of God, which She said to the Archangel Gabriel in response to all that he told Her from God.

We read in the Gospel that in the sixth month after St. John the Baptist was conceived in the womb, Archangel Gabriel was sent from God to the city of Galilee, called Nazareth, to the Virgin, betrothed to her husband, named Joseph, from the house of David; The name of the Virgin is Mary.

For our salvation to be completed and God become a Man, it was necessary not only the action of the Holy Spirit, but also the meekness and consent of the One who was determined to become His Mother.

The Archangel greets Her with great respect: Rejoice, highly favored, full of grace, The Lord is with you! Blessed art thou among women.

She, seeing him, was embarrassed by his words and wondered what kind of greeting it would be.

In the service of the feast, it is said that Mary feared seduction, remembering the fall of Eve. And this embarrassment shows Her deepest humility, the consciousness of one’s insignificance and the unwillingness to be significant neither in front of others nor, again, in one’s own eyes.

For the Mother of God, all significance was in God… Then she would say: My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit is rejoiced in God, my Savior, that he looked upon the humility of his servant, for from now on all generations will greet me. Not about Himself She rejoices, but about God — not that all generations will appease her, but that She served His great work.

In the meantime, the Angel says to her: Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found grace with God; and behold, you shall conceive in the womb, and bear a Son, and you shall call His name Jesus. He will be great and be called the Son of the Most High, and the Lord God will give Him the throne of David his Father; and he will reign over the house of Jacob forever, and his kingdom will have no end.

And we remember that even in the Jerusalem temple, She took a vow to keep her virginity all her life. And so Mary asks, — no longer from distrust, but to understand: how will it be when I do not know my husband? She worried — should she break the vow given to God? And the angel answered her: The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore, the Holy One to be born will be called the Son of God. Here is Elizabeth, your relative, who is called childless, and she conceived a son in her old age, and she is already six months, because no word shall be impossible with God.

And she agrees. The evangelist Luke describes the beginning of our salvation in very simple words: And Mary said: Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it done to me according to thy word.

The beginning of our destruction, our falling away from God, was that Adam and Eve did not obey God. The beginning of salvation is in obedience of the Mother to God. And what She chose, we know from further events, and according to Tradition, the Archangel Gabriel told Her about it then, immediately, on the day of the Annunciation.

Then there was Great Friday, when the Mother of God stood near the Cross, on which Her Divine Son was crucified for the sins of the whole world. Then, after this, there was His burial, — Joseph of Arimathea with Nicodemus rolled a stone to the opening of the coffin. And before that was His long journey to this, during which the words spoken to the Mother of God by the righteous Simeon the God-bearer were fulfilled repeatedly: And to You Yourselves the weapon will pass the soul. Thus our salvation was accomplished, this is what she served, this is to what she said Behold the handmaid of the Lord; be it unto me according to thy word.

But the salvation will not touch our life until these words are said only by the Mother of God, without us. It is promised to all of us, and it is told to all of us that the path to it is the way of the cross, that through many sorrows we must enter into it. It is also said to us that Christ is with us all the days until the end of time, if only we are with Him, if we seek the Kingdom of Heaven, and not the satisfaction of our self. Let us say this to the Lord: “Behold, your servants, let it be according to your word”.

Our salvation takes place where our will meets the will of God and follows it. Rejoice, says the Archangel to the Mother of God, Lord is with You. Her joy is given today to everyone who follows Christ. Amen.

Next Sunday is Palm Sunday or the Entry of our Lord into Jerusalem. And as one preacher noted, today we are remembering another entry into Jerusalem: “…not the Entry into Jerusalem of our Lord, but the entry into Jerusalem of Mary of Egypt…”

She lived in the 5^th an 6^th century in Egypt. At the age of 12 she left her parents and went to the capital city to lose her chastity and become a harlot. But not by the occupation which was a common way to save one’s life (let’s remember the life of St Nicholas the Wonderworker) in the cruel world…

It became a sort of religion or belief: life for pleasure – the logics of sin, fruitless, dismal, extremely contagious, rather intrusive, and deceitful, especially in the end… stealing happiness from the one…

We can see this ‘wisdom’ nowadays everywhere, it breaks through our informational and educational doors. It is very well used by the high-ranking thieves to get more. Not that they really care about those people whom they push to trade their happiness for a sort of a ‘freedom’.

Then, by the age of 50 or 60 or later people might discover the trick, but who will care, and who will compensate?

Whereas Gospel, unlike even the Old Testament, is calling people to be happy, just with the only happiness possible for a human, or even a special and supernatural kind of happiness – “Blessed are the poor in spirit…” – the beatitudes…

Thus, living this kind of life, once she saw a group of people that were getting abord a ship to go to (as she thought, just another capital, or big and joyful city) – Jerusalem. She couldn’t give in the temptation to go with the crowd, captivating weak people on their way, just like demons pull off the righteous from the ladder of the spiritual ascent we remembered last Sunday…

They arrived at Jerusalem, and, one of a crowd, she was swept to the temple where the Holy Cross was venerated by the Christians that day…

But the Lord mercifully and joyfully saw in her the harlot of his life-time (depicted in Gospel), seeing in her the same spirit, able to fly from the coldest to the inflamed by love.

And she was stopped by the everlasting and almighty power.

Everyone could go into the temple, but she couldn’t step any further than the porch…

Overwhelmed, Mary ran to the icon of Mother of God, and with all the repentance she was praying the Most Holy and Pure One to be her intercessor. The mystical abyss of human soul was instantly felt empty (as it really was) by the former harlot and the repentance ran into this emptiness like a mighty flood of water.

And the Lord was pleased to repeat his words: “Therefore I say to you, her sins, which are many, are forgiven, for she loved much.” (Luke 7:36-47)

And she crossed the Jordan and went to the desert to apply an extremely cruel fasting to all her old spiritual wounds. That is why we commemorate St Mary of Egypt during the Great Lent: her lent was one of the greatest in the whole Christian history!

She could bow to the ground, weeping and crying out the gratitude and go home to her parents, but “she loved much”, and that is why she resolved to improve all the God like pure nature that was given to her.

A hermitess, eating plants, living in torments and struggle with the harshest nature outside and inside herself (especially, the first 17! years of her life there):

«And how shall I tell you, O Abba [Zosima], of the thoughts that pushed me towards lust once more? A fire was kindled in my miserable heart which seemed to burn me up completely and to awake in me a thirst for embraces. As soon as this craving came to me, I flung myself on the earth and watered it with my tears… And I did not rise from the ground (sometimes I lay thus prostrate for a day and a night) until a calm and sweet light descended and enlightened me and chased away the thoughts that possessed me.”

She lived naked and became withered and emaciated, as we can see in the icon of hers, but nevertheless she survived there for some forty-eight years, and eventually obtained the grace to work miracles, crossing the Jordan as if on dry land, for example…

Then she was discovered by a pious monk, Zosimas. As the Lord willed to show him some ascetics even greater than the holy fathers of the desert monastery.

She wanted to venerate the Cross… and she loved much…

We, orthodox Christians insist, that while venerating the saints and their relics and their icons, and their lives – we do it only because it is the best way to see and realize what Christ did for us. And today on the eve of the Great and Passion Week we are given this life St Mary of Egypt to see, as the Apostle Paul says not “through a glass, darkly; but… face to face”.

This her life keeps us from being judgmental or overproud, this life gives us best example of repentance and love… and this life uncovers for us, what Cross of the Lord is, what His Sacrifice and Love is, what His power is, in this case — through what His impact on the life of the people is!

Oh, holy Mary of Egypt, pray God for us! Amen.

About 5th Sunday of Great Lent: St Mary of Egypt

Saint Zosimas (April 4) was a monk at a certain Palestinian monastery on the outskirts of Caesarea. Having dwelt at the monastery since his childhood, he lived there in asceticism until he reached the age of fifty-three. Then he was disturbed by the thought that he had attained perfection, and needed no one to instruct him. “Is there a monk anywhere who can show me some form of asceticism that I have not attained? Is there anyone who has surpassed me in spiritual sobriety and deeds?”

Suddenly, an angel of the Lord appeared to him and said, “Zosimas, you have struggled valiantly, as far as this is in the power of man. However, there is no one who is righteous (Rom 3:10). So that you may know how many other ways lead to salvation, leave your native land, like Abraham from the house of his father (Gen 12:1), and go to the monastery by the Jordan.”

Abba Zosimas immediately left the monastery, and following the angel, he went to the Jordan monastery and settled in it.

Here he met Elders who were adept in contemplation, and also in their struggles. Never did anyone utter an idle word. Instead, they sang constantly, and prayed all night long. Abba Zosimas began to imitate the spiritual activity of the holy monks.

Thus much time passed, and the holy Forty Day Fast approached. There was a certain custom at the monastery, which was why God had led Saint Zosimas there. On the First Sunday of Great Lent the igumen served the Divine Liturgy, everyone received the All-Pure Body and Blood of Christ. Afterwards, they went to the trapeza for a small repast, and then assembled once more in church.

The monks prayed and made prostrations, asking forgiveness one of another. Then they made a prostration before the igumen and asked his blessing for the struggle that lay before them. During the Psalm “The Lord is my Light and my Savior, whom shall I fear? The Lord is defender of my life, of whom shall I be afraid?” (Ps 26/27:1), they opened the monastery gate and went off into the wilderness.

Each took with him as much food as he needed, and went into the desert. When their food ran out, they ate roots and desert plants. The monks crossed the Jordan and scattered in various directions, so that no one might see how another fasted or how they spent their time.

The monks returned to the monastery on Palm Sunday, each having his own conscience as a witness of his ascetic struggles. It was a rule of the monastery that no one asked how anyone else had toiled in the desert.

Abba Zosimas, according to the custom of the monastery, went deep into the desert hoping to find someone living there who could benefit him.

He walked into the wilderness for twenty days and then, when he sang the Psalms of the Sixth Hour and made the usual prayers. Suddenly, to the right of the hill where he stood, he saw a human form. He was afraid, thinking that it might be a demonic apparition. Then he guarded himself with the Sign of the Cross, which removed his fear. He turned to the right and saw a form walking southward. The body was black from the blazing sunlight, and the faded short hair was white like a sheep’s fleece. Abba Zosimas rejoiced, since he had not seen any living thing for many days.

The desert-dweller saw Zosimas approaching, and attempted to flee from him. Abba Zosimas, forgetting his age and fatigue, quickened his pace. When he was close enough to be heard, he called out, “Why do you flee from me, a sinful old man? Wait for me, for the love of God.”

The stranger said to him, “Forgive me, Abba Zosimas, but I cannot turn and show my face to you. I am a woman, and as you see, I am naked. If you would grant the request of a sinful woman, throw me your cloak so I might cover my body, and then I can ask for your blessing.”

Then Abba Zosimas was terrified, realizing that she could not have called him by name unless she possessed spiritual insight.

Covered by the cloak, the ascetic turned to Zosimas: “Why do you want to speak with me, a sinful woman? What did you wish to learn from me, you who have not shrunk from such great labors?”

Abba Zosimas fell to the ground and asked for her blessing. She also bowed down before him, and for a long time they remained on the ground each asking the other to bless. Finally, the woman ascetic said: “Abba Zosimas, you must bless and pray, since you are honored with the grace of the priesthood. For many years you have stood before the holy altar, offering the Holy Gifts to the Lord.”

These words frightened Saint Zosimas even more. With tears he said to her, “O Mother! It is clear that you live with God and are dead to this world. You have called me by name and recognized me as a priest, though you have never seen me before. The grace granted you is apparent, therefore bless me, for the Lord’s sake.”

Yielding finally to his entreaties, she said, “Blessed is God, Who cares for the salvation of men.” Abba Zosimas replied, “Amen.” Then they rose to their feet. The woman ascetic again said to the Elder, “Why have you come, Father, to me who am a sinner, bereft of every virtue? Apparently, the grace of the Holy Spirit has brought you to do me a service. But tell me first, Abba, how do the Christians live, how is the Church guided?”

Abba Zosimas answered her, “By your holy prayers God has granted the Church and us all a lasting peace. But fulfill my unworthy request, Mother, and pray for the whole world and for me a sinner, that my wanderings in the desert may not be useless.”

The holy ascetic replied, “You, Abba Zosimas, as a priest, ought to pray for me and for all, for you are called to do this. However, since we must be obedient, I will do as you ask.

The saint turned toward the East, and raising her eyes to heaven and stretching out her hands, she began to pray in a whisper. She prayed so softly that Abba Zosimas could not hear her words. After a long time, the Elder looked up and saw her standing in the air more than a foot above the ground. Seeing this, Zosimas threw himself down on the ground, weeping and repeating, “Lord, have mercy!”

Then he was tempted by a thought. He wondered if she might not be a spirit, and if her prayer could be insincere. At that moment she turned around, lifted him from the ground and said, “Why do your thoughts confuse you, Abba Zosimas? I am not an apparition. I am a sinful and unworthy woman, though I am guarded by holy Baptism.”

Then she made the Sign of the Cross and said, “May God protect us from the Evil One and his schemes, for fierce is his struggle against us.” Seeing and hearing this, the Elder fell at her feet with tears saying, “I beseech you by Christ our God, do not conceal from me who you are and how you came into this desert. Tell me everything, so that the wondrous works of God may be revealed.”

She replied, “It distresses me, Father, to speak to you about my shameless life. When you hear my story, you might flee from me, as if from a poisonous snake. But I shall tell you everything, Father, concealing nothing. However, I exhort you, cease not to pray for me a sinner, that I may find mercy on the Day of Judgment.

“I was born in Egypt and when I was twelve years old, I left my parents and went to Alexandria. There I lost my chastity and gave myself to unrestrained and insatiable sensuality. For more than seventeen years I lived like that and I did it all for free. Do not think that I refused the money because I was rich. I lived in poverty and worked at spinning flax. To me, life consisted in the satisfaction of my fleshly lust.

“One summer I saw a crowd of people from Libya and Egypt heading toward the sea. They were on their way to Jerusalem for the Feast of the Exaltation of the Holy Cross. I also wanted to sail with them. Since I had no food or money, I offered my body in payment for my passage. And so I embarked on the ship.

“Now, Father, believe me, I am very amazed, that the sea tolerated my wantonness and fornication, that the earth did not open up its mouth and take me down alive into hell, because I had ensnared so many souls. I think that God was seeking my repentance. He did not desire the death of a sinner, but awaited my conversion.

“So I arrived in Jerusalem and spent all the days before the Feast living the same sort of life, and maybe even worse.

“When the holy Feast of the Exaltation of the Venerable Cross of the Lord arrived, I went about as before, looking for young men. At daybreak I saw that everyone was heading to the church, so I went along with the rest. When the hour of the Holy Elevation drew nigh, I was trying to enter into the church with all the people. With great effort I came almost to the doors, and attempted to squeeze inside. Although I stepped up to the threshold, it was as though some force held me back, preventing me from entering. I was brushed aside by the crowd, and found myself standing alone on the porch. I thought that perhaps this happened because of my womanly weakness. I worked my way into the crowd, and again I attempted to elbow people aside. However hard I tried, I could not enter. Just as my feet touched the church threshold, I was stopped. Others entered the church without difficulty, while I alone was not allowed in. This happened three or four times. Finally my strength was exhausted. I went off and stood in a corner of the church portico.

“Then I realized that it was my sins that prevented me from seeing the Life-Creating Wood. The grace of the Lord then touched my heart. I wept and lamented, and I began to beat my breast. Sighing from the depths of my heart, I saw above me an icon of the Most Holy Theotokos. Turning to Her, I prayed: “O Lady Virgin, who gave birth in the flesh to God the Word! I know that I am unworthy to look upon your icon. I rightly inspire hatred and disgust before your purity, but I know also that God became Man in order to call sinners to repentance. Help me, O All-Pure One. Let me enter the church. Allow me to behold the Wood upon which the Lord was crucified in the flesh, shedding His Blood for the redemption of sinners, and also for me. Be my witness before Your Son that I will never defile my body again with the impurity of fornication. As soon as I have seen the Cross of your Son, I will renounce the world, and go wherever you lead me.”

“After I had spoken, I felt confidence in the compassion of the Mother of God, and left the spot where I had been praying. I joined those entering the church, and no one pushed me back or prevented me from entering. I went on in fear and trembling, and entered the holy place.

“Thus I also saw the Mysteries of God, and how God accepts the penitant. I fell to the holy ground and kissed it. Then I hastened again to stand before the icon of the Mother of God, where I had given my vow. Bending my knees before the Virgin Theotokos, I prayed:

“‘O Lady, you have not rejected my prayer as unworthy. Glory be to God, Who accepts the repentance of sinners. It is time for me to fulfill my vow, which you witnessed. Therefore, O Lady, guide me on the path of repentance.’”

“Then I heard a voice from on high: ‘If you cross the Jordan, you will find glorious rest.’

“I immediately believed that this voice was meant for me, and I cried out to the Mother of God: ‘O Lady, do not forsake me!’

“Then I left the church portico and started on my journey. A certain man gave me three coins as I was leaving the church. With them I bought three loaves of bread, and asked the bread merchant the way to the Jordan.

“It was nine o’clock when I saw the Cross. At sunset I reached the church of Saint John the Baptist on the banks of the Jordan. After praying in the church, I went down to the Jordan and washed my face and hands in its water. Then in this same temple of Saint John the Forerunner I received the Life-Creating Mysteries of Christ. Then I ate half of one of my loaves of bread, drank water from the holy Jordan, and slept there that night on the ground. In the morning I found a small boat and crossed the river to the opposite shore. Again I prayed that the Mother of God would lead me where She wished. Then I found myself in this desert.”

Abba Zosimas asked her, “How many years have passed since you began to live in the desert?”

“‘I think,” she replied, “it is forty-seven years since I came from the Holy City.”

Abba Zosimas again asked, “What food do you find here, Mother?”

And she said, “I had with me two and a half loaves of bread when I crossed the Jordan. Soon they dried out and hardened Eating a little at a time, I finished them after a few years.”

Again Abba Zosimas asked, “Is it possible you have survived for so many years without sickness, and without suffering in any way from such a complete change?”

“Believe me, Abba Zosimas,” the woman said, “I spent seventeen years in this wilderness (after she had spent seventeen years in immorality), fighting wild beasts: mad desires and passions. When I began to eat bread, I thought of the meat and fish which I had in abundance in Egypt. I also missed the wine that I loved so much when I was in the world, while here I did not even have water. I suffered from thirst and hunger. I also had a mad desire for lewd songs. I seemed to hear them, disturbing my heart and my hearing. Weeping and striking myself on the breast, I remembered the vow I had made. At last I beheld a radiant Light shining on me from everywhere. After a violent tempest, a lasting calm ensued.

“Abba, how shall I tell you of the thoughts that urged me on to fornication? A fire seemed to burn within me, awakening in me the desire for embraces. Then I would throw myself to the ground and water it with my tears. I seemed to see the Most Holy Virgin before me, and She seemed to threaten me for not keeping my vow. I lay face downward day and night upon the ground, and would not get up until that blessed Light encircled me, dispelling the evil thoughts that troubled me.

“Thus I lived in this wilderness for the first seventeen years. Darkness after darkness, misery after misery stood about me, a sinner. But from that time until now the Mother of God helps me in everything.”

Abba Zosimas again inquired, “How is it that you require neither food, nor clothing?”

She answered, “After finishing my bread, I lived on herbs and the things one finds in the desert. The clothes I had when I crossed over the Jordan became torn and fell apart. I suffered both from the summer heat, when the blazing heat fell upon me, and from the winter cold, when I shivered from the frost. Many times I fell down upon the earth, as though dead. I struggled with various afflictions and temptations. But from that time until the present day, the power of God has guarded my sinful soul and humble body. I was fed and clothed by the all-powerful word of God, since man does not live by bread alone, but by every word proceeding from the mouth of God (Dt 8:3, Mt.4:4, Luke 4:4), and those who have put off the old man (Col 3:9) have no refuge, hiding themselves in the clefts of the rocks (Job 24:8, Heb 11:38). When I remember from what evil and from what sins the Lord delivered me, I have imperishible food for salvation.”

When Abba Zosimas heard that the holy ascetic quoted the Holy Scripture from memory, from the Books of Moses and Job and from the Psalms of David, he then asked the woman, “Mother, have you read the Psalms and other books?”

She smiled at hearing this question, and answered, “Believe me, I have seen no human face but yours from the time that I crossed over the Jordan. I never learned from books. I have never heard anyone read or sing from them. Perhaps the Word of God, which is alive and acting, teaches man knowledge by itself (Col 3:16, 1 Thess 2:13). This is the end of my story. As I asked when I began, I beg you for the sake of the Incarnate Word of God, holy Abba, pray for me, a sinner.

“Furthermore, I beg you, for the sake of Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior, tell no one what you have heard from me, until God takes me from this earth. Next year, during Great Lent, do not cross the Jordan, as is the custom of your monastery.”

Again Abba Zosimas was amazed, that the practice of his monastery was known to the holy woman ascetic, although he had not said anything to her about this.

“Remain at the monastery,” the woman continued. “Even if you try to leave the monastery, you will not be able to do so. On Great and Holy Thursday, the day of the Lord’s Last Supper, place the Life-Creating Body and Blood of Christ our God in a holy vessel, and bring it to me. Await me on this side of the Jordan, at the edge of the desert, so that I may receive the Holy Mysteries. And say to Abba John, the igumen of your community, ‘Look to yourself and your brothers’ (1 Tim 4:16), for there is much that needs correction. Do not say this to him now, but when the Lord shall indicate.”

Asking for his prayers, the woman turned and vanished into the depths of the desert.

For a whole year Elder Zosimas remained silent, not daring to reveal to anyone what he had seen, and he prayed that the Lord would grant him to see the holy ascetic once more.

When the first week of Great Lent came again, Saint Zosimas was obliged to remain at the monastery because of sickness. Then he remembered the woman’s prophetic words that he would not be able to leave the monastery. After several days went by, Saint Zosimas was healed of his infirmity, but he remained at the monastery until Holy Week.

On Holy Thursday, Abba Zosimas did what he had been ordered to do. He placed some of the Body and Blood of Christ into a chalice, and some food in a small basket. Then he left the monastery and went to the Jordan and waited for the ascetic. The saint seemed tardy, and Abba Zosimas prayed that God would permit him to see the holy woman.

Finally, he saw her standing on the far side of the river. Rejoicing, Saint Zosimas got up and glorified God. Then he wondered how she could cross the Jordan without a boat. She made the Sign of the Cross over the water, then she walked on the water and crossed the Jordan. Abba Zosimas saw her in the moonlight, walking toward him. When the Elder wanted to make prostration before her, she forbade him, crying out, “What are you doing, Abba? You are a priest and you carry the Holy Mysteries of God.”

Reaching the shore, she said to Abba Zosimas, “Bless me, Father.” He answered her with trembling, astonished at what he had seen. “Truly God did not lie when he promised that those who purify themselves will be like Him. Glory to You, O Christ our God, for showing me through your holy servant, how far I am from perfection.”

The woman asked him to recite both the Creed and the “Our Father.” When the prayers were finished, she partook of the Holy Mysteries of Christ. Then she raised her hands to the heavens and said, “Lord, now let Your servant depart in peace, for my eyes have seen Your salvation.”

The saint turned to the Elder and said, “Please, Abba, fulfill another request. Go now to your monastery, and in a year’s time come to the place where we first time spoke.”

He said, “If only it were possible for me to follow you and always see your holy face!”

She replied, “For the Lord’s sake, pray for me and remember my wrechedness.”

Again she made the Sign of the Cross over the Jordan, and walked over the water as before, and disappeared into the desert. Zosimas returned to the monastery with joy and terror, reproaching himself because he had not asked the saint’s name. He hoped to do so the following year.

A year passed, and Abba Zosimas went into the desert. He reached the place where he first saw the holy woman ascetic. She lay dead, with arms folded on her bosom, and her face was turned to the east. Abba Zosimas washed her feet with his tears and kissed them, not daring to touch anything else. For a long while he wept over her and sang the customary Psalms, and said the funeral prayers. He began to wonder whether the saint would want him to bury her or not. Hardly had he thought this, when he saw something written on the ground near her head: “Abba Zosimas, bury on this spot the body of humble Mary. Return to dust what is dust. Pray to the Lord for me. I reposed on the first day of April, on the very night of the saving Passion of Christ, after partaking of the Mystical Supper.”

Reading this note, Abba Zosimas was glad to learn her name. He then realized that Saint Mary, after receiving the Holy Mysteries from his hand, was transported instantaneously to the place where she died, though it had taken him twenty days to travel that distance.

Glorifying God, Abba Zosimas said to himself, “It is time to do what she asks. But how can I dig a grave, with nothing in my hands?” Then he saw a small piece of wood left by some traveler. He picked it up and began to dig. The ground was hard and dry, and he could not dig it. Looking up, Abba Zosimas saw an enormous lion standing by the saint’s body and licking her feet. Fear gripped the Elder, but he guarded himself with the Sign of the Cross, believing that he would remain unharmed through the prayers of the holy woman ascetic. Then the lion came close to the Elder, showing its friendliness with every movement. Abba Zosimas commanded the lion to dig the grave, in order to bury Saint Mary’s body. At his words, the lion dug a hole deep enough to bury the body. Then each went his own way. The lion went into the desert, and Abba Zosimas returned to the monastery, blessing and praising Christ our God.

Arriving at the monastery, Abba Zosimas related to the monks and the igumen, what he had seen and heard from Saint Mary. All were astonished, hearing about the miracles of God. They always remembered Saint Mary with faith and love on the day of her repose.

Abba John, the igumen of the monastery, heeded the words of Saint Mary, and with the help of God corrected the things that were wrong at the monastery. Abba Zosimas lived a God-pleasing life at the monastery, reaching nearly a hundred years of age. There he finished his temporal life, and passed into life eternal.

The monks passed on the life of Saint Mary of Egypt by word of mouth without writing it down.

“I however,” says Saint Sophronius of Jerusalem (March 11), “wrote down the Life of Saint Mary of Egypt as I heard it from the holy Fathers. I have recorded everything, putting the truth above all else.”

“May God, Who works great miracles and bestows gifts on all who turn to Him in faith, reward those who hear or read this account, and those who copy it. May he grant them a blessed portion together with Saint Mary of Egypt and with all the saints who have pleased God by their pious thoughts and works. Let us give glory to God, the Eternal King, that we may find mercy on the Day of Judgment through our Lord Jesus Christ, to Whom is due all glory, honor, majesty and worship together with the Unoriginate Father, and the Most Holy and Life-Creating Spirit, now and ever and unto ages of ages. Amen.”